🐾THE GREAT BED RACE!
Mac said “Alright team, strategy meeting. The humans are about to stand up from the couch. That means we have approximately… thirty seconds to sprint to the bedroom and secure prime mattress real estate.”
Seamus was across the room and advised “Correction: I secure the prime spot. The center pillow is mine. I earned it by staring lovingly at Mom for 47 minutes straight.”
Fable laughed, “You two amateurs don’t understand the art of bed politics. The key is to pretend you’re asleep before the humans even walk in. Dead weight. Unmovable. They won’t dare disturb you.”
Sirius pondered for a moment then said “I’ve analyzed the patterns. Dad always sleeps on the left. Mom on the right. That leaves a 14‑inch neutral zone in the middle. I will occupy it with precision.”
Cora always sniffing for food said, “I don’t care where I sleep as long as I’m touching someone. Preferably everyone. Ideally on top of someone.”
🛏️ The Humans Stand Up… and All Chaos Breaks Loose
Mac:
“GO! GO! GO! This is not a drill!”
Seamus:
“Out of my way, peasants! I must reach the pillow throne!”
Fable:
“Why are we running? I thought we agreed on the ‘already asleep’ tactic—HEY! Don’t shove me!”
Cora:
“I’m calculating the fastest route—hallway left, dodge the laundry basket, leap onto the duvet—”
Sirius:
“I’m just happy to be included!”
🐶 They Arrive at the Bed
Mac:
“I claim the foot of the bed. It’s cool, it’s spacious, and I can stretch like a majestic lion.”
Seamus:
“I am on the pillow. I am the pillow. I am the bedtime queen.”
Fable:
“I’ve taken Dad’s spot. He’ll try to move me. He will fail.”
Cora:
“I have wedged myself perfectly between the humans’ pillows. I am Switzerland.”
Sirius:
“I’m lying across everyone’s legs like a warm, furry seatbelt. Safety first.”
😑 The Humans Arrive
Mom:
“…Why is there not a single inch of bed left?”
Dad:
“Because they’re faster than us. Every night.”
Mac:
“Look at them. Defeated. Works every time.”
Fable:
“Shhh. If we stay perfectly still, they’ll just sleep around us.”
Seamus:
“Exactly. Bed politics.”
Cora:
“Mission accomplished.”
Sirius:
“I love bedtime.”
For those of you who have dogs, and it seems like they have an elaborate plan, we definitely see that with our dogs. Tell us your story of how your dogs scheme to get what they want.
The PACK’s Tales
Fable ~many of you know that I am the eldest of the pack. While the Great Bed Race is real, I personally struggle to get up on the bed these days. Mama and Dad have a tall bed. I used to be able to jump up there but these days I need a hoist.
Mama was looking at stairs to help me be able to get on the bed, but for now I get the assist from my humans. I do have a separate cushy bed to sleep in but there are days when I just want to sleep by Dad.
I get these special vitamins that do help me get around better, but the struggle is real. If any of you have pups with joint issues definitely look into the vitamins they do help.
